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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Still awake somehow's LiveJournal:

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    Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
    12:49 am
    Story Time -- "Reverse Engineering"
    WRITER'S NOTE: I'm experimenting with a different style of storytelling. I'm starting at the end and moving backward. This is the first draft, and I have lots to clean up. Just let me know if you think it works or not. Also, let me whether or not, by the end, you can figure out what happened to Joseph to make him react as he did in the first scene.

    If you want to do a full blown critique, let me know and I'll send you the file.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

     

    Reverse Engineering

     

    By Zechariah Brewer
    30 December 2008

     

    Monday, 1703 hrs

                    As “the home of the brave” echoed through the air, Lieutenant Joseph Sanchez would normally have been completing his daily meditation on the meaning of freedom.  The young intelligence officer with the 715th Engineer Battalion sat mesmerized.  Almost everyone else had already left the office – almost.  Lt. Sanchez sat at his desk with his back to the cubicle entrance, immobile.  He listened – he could still hear her in the office.  Dress uniform day meant she was wearing heels, and Sanchez could hear them clacking across the tile floor.  Joseph quickly gathered his tool belt and his paperwork, shoving them into his satchel.  He kept his head down so as not to be seen.

                    The clacking indicated that she was in the walkway between his cubicle and the door, which was on the far side of the office.  Joseph ducked out, going the long way around.  He was short enough that if he kept his head down, he could walk normally and still remain unseen.  Sanchez rolled his heels so his hard-sole shoes wouldn’t make noise.  Turning the corner toward the door, he would see the coast was clear; Joseph increased his speed and reached the door handle uninhibited.

                    “Hi there, Joe,” she belted as he pulled the door back.  He was caught.  The desperation flooded across his face.  Joseph stepped back and held the door.  “Running off without me?” she asked.

                    “Certainly not…Alexia…”  Sanchez hadn’t been an officer very long, but he still wasn’t used to addressing a non-com so informally.  Alexia placed her hand on his shoulder and let her hair drape over part of his face.  Joseph looked up to make eye contact with her, leaning against the door, trying in vain to put distance between them.

                    “I missed you today, Joe,” she continued.  “You didn’t call, you didn’t stop by my desk…” she trailed off.  Alexia’s hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his neck.  “Are you trying to avoid me?”  Sanchez clinched his fist tightly as she moved in for a kiss.

                    Joseph’s countenance changed in an instant.  Her face was an inch away as he reached up to her shoulder blades.  Faster than she could realize, he whipped her around to where she was suspended beneath him.  A momentary look of surprise turned into a mischievous glare as she hung there.  Joseph lingered an inch away for a brief pause, then his face began moving away from her.  Alexia’s face turned to confusion immediately before hitting the floor beneath her.  Sanchez stepped over her body and proceeded toward his car.

                    “Goodnight, Sergeant Carter,” Sanchez shouted.  Pulling the keys out of his pocket, he also retrieved his rosary.  Staring down at the crucifix, he smiled, unlocking his driver’s door.   “I’m a man again,” he uttered confidently.

     

    Sunday, 1625 hrs

                    John Sanchez paced around the sanctuary, moving from bead to bead on his rosary.  Five more minutes and he could lock up the base chapel and go home.  Father Sanchez turned around at the noise of the confessional door rattling.  Someone apparently sneaked in while his back was turned.  As Father John closed the door to his side of the booth, he waited for the knock from the other side.  The slow knock eventually drifted through.  A slow, soft knock usually indicated a hangover.  Sanchez slid the door open to hear the person on the other side.

                    “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” mumbled a familiar voice.  “I…failed.  I failed my unit, I failed my da—boss, I failed as a man.”

                    “What did you do, my son?”  The priest still had difficulty calling anyone “son,” even after working this job for two years.

                    “I let her take me…and then…I let her let me take her…”

                    “How long has it been since your last confession?”  Father John knew the answer before asking.

                    “How the hell long do you think, Johnny?”

                    “Joe…”  The priest leaned back in his booth.

                    “She took it from me, Johnny!”  Joseph clawed at the screen separating them.  “I gave it to her and let her take it from me!”  The priest contemplated how long to let this go on.  His digital watch now read 1635.  Looking back through the screen, his brother was crying.  Father John opened the door to his brother’s side of the confessional.  The lieutenant sat balled up on the floor, still wearing the same clothes he stumbled home in. 

    John pulled his brother up over his shoulder and began to walk him out. “Let’s go, bud,” John patted him on the shoulder.  “You’re not the only one she’s taken…took a lot of guts for you to come in here today.”

     

    Sunday, 0537 hrs

                    Mary Sanchez shook her oldest brother by the shoulder, trying not to make noise while waking him up.  “John,” the teenager whispered, “there’s someone downstairs tearing up the place, wake up!”

                    John lay back for a second, then shot up, realizing what she had said.  He peeked out the door while Mary hung back, still uncertain what was going on below.  The noises got louder when John opened the door.  John inched out into the hallway and disappeared.  Mary wanted to hang back where it was safe, but couldn’t bear the fear from not seeing him going into danger. 

    By the time Mary reached the door, John was leering around the corner of the stairwell for his first glance at the intruder.  “Joe!” he shouted, and the noise stopped.  John emerged from the safety of the wall.  “Geez, Joe, what are ya doin?”

    Mary hurried down the stairwell.  The living room was a mess.  Joseph had chucked three screwdrivers into his new flat screen TV, ripped up the couch with his razor knife, and now stood still, breathing heavily, tightly gripping his claw hammer. 

    The three stared at each other without speaking for a brief moment.  Joe lowered his eyes as he move in the direction of his siblings.  Immediately before passing by, he stopped.  John and Mary looked at each other.  Joe looked back and hummed his claw hammer across the room, knocking a picture frame off the coffee table. 

    Joe’s siblings stood aside to let him stumble up the stairs to his bed.  Mary ran to John, hugged him and broke down crying.  John did his best to calm her, sitting her down on the shredded couch. Mary picked the shattered picture frame up off the floor as she wiped away her tears.  John wandered around the living room, trying to figure out where to start cleaning.

    “Hey, it’s okay…Dad’s still outta town,” John whispered to comfort his sister.  “He’d go crazy if we saw this mess, but we’ve still got time to clean it up.”

    “Johnny?” Mary called.  “Have you seen this picture?”  She turned the cracked frame over, showing a picture of Joseph with their father, Lt. Colonel Michael Sanchez, and First Sergeant Alexia Carter in between.

     

    Wednesday, 2235 hrs

                    Lt. Colonel Sanchez opened the front door to see his sons watching the evening news.  “How my boys doing tonight?” he announced.

                    “Doing well, sir!” Joe shouted, mocking the dialogue they had been taught from boyhood.

                    “Where ya been, Dad?” John asked, standing up to hug his father.

                    “Don’t you worry bout that, boy…I ain’t confessing to you here.”  Michael plopped down next to Joseph.  “Son, I’m real proud to have you in my unit.  Generals don’t let you hand pick your staff officers every day, you know.”

                    “Yes sir, I do appreciate it.  Hey, check out what I got today.”  Joe passed his dad a framed 4”x6” photograph.  “From the Change of Command ceremony on Monday.”

                    “Hey, it’s Alex—” the senior Sanchez cut himself off.  “I mean, Sergeant Carter.”  He paused before setting the frame back on Joe’s lap.  “Sergeant Carter,” he repeated, trailing off.

                    “She gave me that at the office today,” Joe interjected.

                    “Yep, I bet she did.”  Michael paused again.  “Quite a woman, ain’t she?  Now…now, don’t you let that Amazon intimidate you boy, or…” Michael shook his finger, muttering, “Or…she’ll own you.”

                    The men sat silently while Michael rubbed his knees, nervously glancing around the room.  Finally, he stood, produced a cigarette, and made for the front door.  “Or she’ll own you,” Michael muttered as he closed the door behind himself.

     

    Monday, 1648 hrs

                    “We don’t make overtime at this unit, Colonel,” Alexia called, leaning into her new commander’s office.  Lt. Colonel Sanchez was still setting up his workspace, the first opportunity he had since taking command earlier that morning.  “Care for a little celebration?” she asked.

                    Sanchez looked back as she waved a bottle of brandy.  “Hell, why not,” he replied.  Carter ducked out of the office to get two glasses, checking to make sure everyone else had left after the party.  She returned with the glasses filled three fingers high.  While Sanchez turned his back to adjust his bookshelf, she dropped the contents of a small white capsule into his drink.

                    “To our new commander!”  Carter raised her glass.

                    “To our men – and women!” Sanchez replied.  He lifted his glass and drank, savoring the alcohol’s particular bite.

                    “Anything you need from the men, sir, you let me know – I got this unit under control.”  Carter winked at him.  “Anything.”

                    “How…” Sanchez started, “do you…” he paused again, “…know what I was gonna ask?”

                    “That’s my job, sir.”  Carter leaned across the desk.  “And I do it well.”

                    “No, do you know what I was going to ask?”  The officer looked at his glass.  “Pull out the good stuff on me?”  Carter lit a cigarette as she perched on his desk.  “Wait…you…can’t…”

                    “Can’t what, Michael?”  Carter took a long drag and blew the smoke in his face.  She pushed her commander and his chair back from his desk as she sat on his lap.  “I just want you to know, I run this unit, Michael.” 

    “You won’t get away…”  Sanchez tried to move, but found himself paralyzed.

    “Your glands still work, Michael,” Alexia finished her glass.  “I drank, we screwed,” she drew closer to whisper in his ear, “In a rape case, if I say I didn’t want it, I’ll win hands down.” 

    Michael’s eyes glazed over as the National Anthem’s drum roll played across the loud speaker.  “O say, can you see?”

    Monday, June 2nd, 2008
    1:36 am
    Florida Outpouring -- "Come Get Some!"
    For your reference:

    Fresh Fire Ministries - This website has live webcasts of the revival
    God TV - The British network that is broadcasting the revival every night from 7-11pm Eastern (Channel 365 on DirecTV)
    Todd Bentley - Wikipedia - The guy who's leading the revival (his homepage is under the Fresh Fire website)
    Roy Fields' homepage - The worship leader who looks like John the Baptist and sounds like he's from the South, even though he's from upstate New York.

    ---


    ---

    I know some of you are probably a bit skeptical about this revival, whether you've seen it before or are just hearing of it for the first time.  I can say from my experience that God is doing a work there, and that it really does make a difference to take time out of your schedule to get down there.  But don't take my word for it -- experience it yourself.  Come expecting God to move.  God has drawn me back in, and left me with one message for everyone: "Fall in love with Jesus!"  If you're on the right path, it'll take you further; if you've strayed from the path, it'll bring you back on; if you've never known the right path, it'll get you on it.  I sit here and think how much I want to go back, but I realize I just want to be in the presence of God, both alone and with others.
    Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
    8:35 pm
    What Would Y'Shua Do? -- pt 2
    So would Jesus be caught in Starbucks, McDonald's, or Wal*Mart?

    Absolutely.

    Why?

    That's where the souls are.

    And just for those who think Jesus would be too humble to be caught in these:

    Luke 7:36 "And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat."

    Luke 14:1 "And it came to pass, as he went into the house of one of the chief Pharisees to eat bread on the sabbath day, that they watched him."

    So, if Jesus would go to a Pharisee's house, I reckon he'd frequent some of our corporations, too.
    Monday, May 12th, 2008
    1:20 pm
    What Would Y'Shua Do?
    Sorry I've been slacking, folks...my work has kept me from blogging any at all.

    I know it's the "in" thing for Christians to bash capitalism these days, so I have to ask your opinion:

    Do you think Jesus would be caught inside Starbucks, McDonald's, or Wal*Mart?

    My take on it tomorrow.
    Saturday, March 15th, 2008
    11:47 pm
    lonely heart ramblings
    Last week, I was talking to one of my favorite Baristas at Green Bean and I mentioned that I hadn't had an official girlfriend since high school (about to hit 7 years now).  She immediately replied consolingly, to which I responded, "Hey, it's not like i haven't had the opportunity -- that was all intentional!"  No, I wasn't trying to pick her up or keep myself from looking like such a loser (okay, maybe a bit of trying not to look like a loser), but on the advice of Tollie, I told the Lord in spring 2002 that I was going to give a year strictly to Him without dating, and that year has lasted thus far.  Yes, I have received a prophecy that this season is about to end, but as for right now I'm still extremely single. 

    All in all, I'd like to say i've held strongly to that vow, but I must be honest.  There have been a few slip-ups, a few deceptions (purposefully or not), and even one instance going way too far because we were both weak and lonely.  Nevertheless, I find I'm just like my parents in that I try to do a lot of things to fill up the time that could be better spent making the few things I'm doing work even better than they already are.  That means that if I'd have tried to have a girlfriend at any point in the last seven years, I would've gotten so horribly off track that I wouldn't have made it as far in my connection with the Lord.

    But this has led me back to this question I hear quite often from single Christians: Is there "just one" person for me out there?  Strangest thing is, I've heard very Godly people argue both sides of this point.  My take on it is simple: I know that God has promised only one to ME, so therefore He can do that for anyone else He so chooses, and nobody better tell me that He doesn't.  Now, I understand that everybody's not going to receive a word or a vision from the Lord, and many of them because they're not seeking that type of direction.  You see, that kind of takes the control out of our hands and puts it in God's, but I digress. 

    So am i saying there's only "just one" for the ones who will wait on the Lord to say something?  By no means.  However, I DO believe that whether you have a Word or not, the day you say "I do," you have found "just one" by definition.  If you say, "Till death do us part" in front of the Lord and men, He expects your yes to be yes, regardless of what you swear by.  So, even if you marry a person who is totally unsuited for you and your walk with God, you've made that commitment, so you dang sure better stick with it. 

    The reason I bring this up is because even we ministers of the Gospel start to doubt whether we are "supposed to be" with the ones we're with.  The enemy attacks us, and thoughts of divorce and unfaithfulness seep into our minds.  For those of us still single, we get thoughts of going after girls God has not promised to us.  This is where we have the job of, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor 10:5 KJV). 

    You see, everything that is true about God cannot change, and His Truth is revealed to us through His Word, so if anything goes against that, it tells you that it's more important than what we already know to be Truth -- thereby placing itself above God, even if it purports to be in favor of God.  The serpent tempted Eve to be LIKE God, yet it was by means of disobeying His command not to eat from the tree (see Genesis 3). 

    So I've come to realize that these thoughts that distract me are fleeting, and sure, they may come back, but if they're not of God they will not last.  Any thoughts of these that you have, submit them "to the obedience of Christ" and He'll bring you the right one in the right time. 
    Sunday, January 20th, 2008
    11:31 pm
    One Last Song

    One Last Song

    By Zechariah Brewer

    For Papa, see you again in my dreams.

     

                It wasn’t the perfectly timed rain at his funeral that made Jolée break.  Not the headstone, reading “killed in the line of duty,” not the barrage of reporters, and not even the mob of New Orleans’ finest crying could shake her to the core.


    (C) 2008 Bring It! Ministries
    Saturday, January 19th, 2008
    3:28 am
    Five Card Draw, Races Wild
    I had an interesting conversation with a parent this morning during my planning hour.  Last night, I went down my parent contact list trying to make sure all of my students' contact numbers are correct.  Some are, some aren't, some I don't know.  I got a call back from the grandmother (primary caretaker) of one of my white students.  About five minutes into the conversation, she asked me, "Are you a white teacher?"  Didn't click at first, but when I said yes, she said, "Well tell him that he may have to go to school with those n*****s, but he doesn't have to act like them!"  After school I pulled him aside and repeated the message (censored version), reminded him that I totally disagree with her statement, but I understand her sentiment -- that she wants him to do well in school and not play around.

    In regular ed 8th grade at SHCMS, we have five white students out of 77 currently on the roster.  My high school was a similar case without quite as much disparity, I think we had a dozen out of 58 who graduated.  Still, every white student at Coushatta High School had at least one class in four years where they were the only white person.  It wasn't a guarantee, but it was still highly likely.  Of that dozen, maybe half went to college, and only two of us have finished off so far.  In my case, it was the marching band (among other instances).  At our height of 60-something members who went to district festival, we had three white students; my senior year, I was the only one.  During our breaks, we even acted like a minority by all hanging out together.  White people who didn't hang out with that group were viewed somewhat as traitors and outsiders, although occasionally we'd have one or two black people hang out in our group.

    So, out of all of the white students who were in my grade during four years at CHS, two of us ended up with a four year degree (both taking more than four years).  Now, all of us who made it through that had a unique perspective, as do the white kids in St. Helena.  I'd say 80% of the white people in America never have the experience of being the only white person in a group of more than three people, as 80% of black people will never be in the majority in mainstream society.  If this opportunity is taken properly, those white students who have this unique opportunity will be able to sympathize with black co-workers and subordinates when/if ever they get into a position of influence in the working world.

    As for me, I had black friends growing up and we operated like there was nothing strange...just happened to have a different skin color & hair type, mostly because that's how it was, and that's how my parents raised me.  When I got to middle school, I was on the one bus that was mostly black kids, and we swore they were taking over.  It was only when I pulled out the yearbook to prove my point that I was proven horribly wrong!  Turns out that at this school of 300, there were only 30 black students.  When I came to college, I found myself under the leadership of two mighty men of God, Zack & Julius, who happened to be African-American. When I joined the Guard, I found myself on a crew with four other airmen, a chief and the first sergeant, and turns out I was the only white guy; I honestly think nobody else noticed.  And the examples go on.

    It's hard to make absolute rulings when the lines get blurry.  I have a student that i know has a white father, but he's listed as black; another student in the same class appears black, but is on the roster as white.  In all actuality, aren't they both? or are they neither?  Coming from a white mindset, the child of an interracial couple still turns out black because they are darker than the white parent, and for so long that was ingrained in the American mindset as "tainting" whiteness.  But if you think about it from the other side, a child of mixed races is lighter than the darker parent, and the same principle applies in reverse.

    Nevertheless, though the lines may blur, they still exist...somewhere.  In the South, it generally turns out that there are two groups: black and not black.  Since asians and hispanics are so sparse in mainstream southern culture, they generally assimilate into the white culture, hence the "not black" category.  This is seen most prevalent in our churches.  It's nothing to have an asian or hispanic person in a white church, but it's something when they have even one black member, and the case is the same in black churches when one white person shows up; only difference is, there are far fewer hispanics and asians in black churches.

    This leads me to believe there is a linear spectrum of white and black churches, with God's purpose to be balanced right in the middle.  I drew up this chart to give you a picture (not to scale).




    Now, to clarify, regions 1 & 5 are so named because they take so much pride in their race that it becomes awkward for an outsider to be there.  To the black churches' credit and the white churches' debt, I have never felt awkward in any black church I've visited, nor have I ever been discouraged by a black brother in Christ.  On the flip side, I did get snubbed in a Methodist church (a church I was baptized in 19 years before!) when I showed up with blue hair.

    Regions 2 & 4 are churches that have the right attitude about race and are very loving and accepting when the opportunity presents itself, but for the most part it just doesn't present itself. 

    Region 3 is exactly where God wants the church to be -- not only to accept people of both races, but for them to be involved, somewhat in proportion to the population of the area.  These churches, whether the senior pastor is black or white, whether they have a rock band or a gospel choir or a stodgy organ and hymn book, are truly in God's will.  This is the case not because they see their church as a white or a black church, but as the body of Christ and that race is really only as important as our culture has told us it is.

    So what does that mean for the rest of us?  For those in Region 3, keep on trucking; 2 & 4, actively reach out to everyone, in spite of their race; for regions 1 & 5, you may be doing plenty of other things right, but it's time to repent because you're in danger of hindering someone from hearing the Gospel.

    Lastly, going back to the pre-set white mindset, white churches have to stop looking at helping black people as an obligation of the wealthy.  This, as I have witnessed, tends to make more people cynical about the people they're helping than sympathetic.  Being charitable becomes a chore for those with means instead of a blessing upon the giver, and while it may appear holy on the outside, in reality it is wretched, as a religious action without even a taste of the heart of God in it.

    [thanks for sticking around all the way through this, ya'll.  I'm long-winded tonight, having not blogged in forever]
    Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
    6:19 pm
    Pearls Before Swine describes my love life once again


    http://comics.com/comics/pearls/index.html
    Sunday, December 9th, 2007
    1:30 am
    I have found a cause to fight for.
    This is for all my fellow educators and education majors.

    Since I have started my teaching job at St. Helena Central Middle School, I have had ample opportunity to grade tests and papers. Our grading scale is as follows:

    A - 94-100
    B - 85-93.5
    C - 77-84.5
    D - 70-76.5
    F - <70 (the lowest grade we are allowed to give is a 60)

    This irks me. Coming from a college standpoint, I'm used to a 60 being the lowest D. This means a child who answers seven out of ten questions right barely crawls away from the tide of underperformance. A child who gets three out of four questions right (75%) still ends up with a D. Four out of five (80%) merits a C, the traditional demarkation for "average" performance and nine out of ten (90%) may be acceptable for how many dentsis recommend Crest over Colgate, but it's not quite enough for that highest echelon of achievement.

    Why do different parishes have different grading scales?

    Let's take, for example, the two districts I have worked in, St. Helena Parish and St. Tammany Parish. Why does St. Helena require a 94 for an A but St. Tammany only require a 92? Why is a 69 a failing grade in St Helena but a 65 in St Tammany is still passing?

    The answer is very simple: the Parish School Board sets the grading scale. But now, out of those two parishes, which performs higher? St. Tammany -- coincidentally, the one with a wider margin. Yes, there are other factors in the mix, and St. Tammany definitely has better schools. The students perform better, the teachers are paid better, everything just seems to work out better.

    But why do the better schools get the priviledge of a lower standard? St. Helena is under corrective action from the Louisiana Department of Education, so if we only saw the district lowering standards without considering other school systems, it would look like we're trying to fluff up our scores. So then when we take other districts into consideration, shouldn't our students have the chance to have their performance match that of other students in other districts?

    Let me give an example. Two students from different school districts, everything else held constant (e.g. socioeconomic status, extracurricular activities, work ethic, standardized test scores), will have two different grades (and therefore two different transcripts) for scoring the same percentage in their classes. If a St. Helena and a St. Tammany student both got exactly 92% in all of their classes, one transcript would show all A's (4.0) and the other would show all B's (3.0). While this may be just scraping by under St. Tammany's standards, it would still be two points shy under St. Helena's. When you consider the far end of the grading scale, a St. Tammany student can do more poorly and still scrape by with a passing grade than a St. Helena student can.

    So both of these students apply for the state's flagship school, Louisiana State University. LSU has a minimum 3.7 high school GPA for general scholarships. St. Tammany's student gets a free ride while St. Helena's will certainly be admitted, but will be moonlighting at Subway because they will get nothing from the school. Ultimately, this achievement will feed back to the school systems, as St. Tammany can account for more money received by their graduates.

    All in all, I may be on the losing side of this battle, but it's something I have to fight for.
    12:56 am
    Christmas Carols pt. 2
    Christmas Carols pt. 2
    Can you name this Christmas Carol? no cheating by googling it!


    Adeste Fidelis
    words by John F. Wade

    1. Adeste fidelis, laeti triumphantes
    Venite, venite in Bethlehem
    Natum videte, regem angelorum
    Venite adoremus, venite adoremus
    Venite adoremus, dominum.

    2. Cantet nunc io, chorus angelorum
    Cantet nunc aula caelestium
    Gloria, gloria in excelsis Deo
    Venite adoremus, venite adoremus
    Venite adoremus, dominum.

    3. Ergo qui natus, die hodierna
    Jesu, tibi sit gloria
    Patris aeterni, verbum caro factus
    Venite adoremus, venite adoremus
    Venite adoremus, dominum.
    Sunday, November 25th, 2007
    9:51 pm
    In order to remind us why we sing, I've decided to interpolate some scripture verses with the lyrics of our traditional Christmas songs (and I don't mean Frosty the Snowman).

    "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" lyrics by Charles Wesley, music by Felix Mendelssohn

    Verse 1:
    Hark! the herald angels sing, (Luke 2:13-14)
    Glory to the newborn King (Matthew 2:2)
    Peace on earth and mercy mild (Zechariah 1:11, 9:10)
    God and sinners reconciled (II Corinthians 5:20)
    Joyful all ye nations rise (Revelation 5:9, 7:9, 11:9 etc)
    Join the triumph of the skies (Revelation 19:11-21)
    With th'angelic hosts proclaim
    Christ is born in Bethlehem (Matthew 2:6, Micah 5:2)

    Hark the herald angels sing
    Glory to the newborn King


    Verse 2:
    Christ by highest heav'n adored (Hebrews 1:6, Revelation 7:11)
    Christ the everlasting Lord (Isaiah 40:28)
    Late in time behold Him come
    Offspring of a virgin's womb (Isaiah 7:14)
    Veiled in flesh the Godhead see (Hebrews 10:20)
    Hail th'incarnate Deity (Isaiah 7:14)
    Pleased as man with men to dwell (Colossians 1:9)
    Jesus our Emmanuel (Matthew 1:23, Isaiah 7:14)

    Hark the herald angels sing
    Glory to the newborn King


    Verse 3:
    Hail the heav'n born Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)
    Hail the Sun of righteousness (Malachi 4:2)
    Light and life to all He brings (John 8:12, 14:6)
    Ris'n with healing in His wings (Malachi 4:2)
    Mild He lays His glory by (Hebrews 1:3)
    Born that man no more may die (Romans 6:9)
    Born to raise the sons of earth (Zechariah 9:13)
    Born to give them second birth (John 3:3)

    Hark the herald angels sing
    Glory to the newborn King


    Verse 4:
    Come Desire of nations come (Haggai 2:7)
    Fix in us Thy humble home (John 1:14)
    Rise the woman's conq'ring seed
    Bruise in us the serpent's head (Genesis 3:15)
    Adam's likeness now efface
    Stamp Thine image in its place (I Corinthians 15:45)
    Second Adam from above
    Reinstate us in Thy love (I Corinthians 15:47)
    Hark the herald angels sing
    Glory to the newborn King
    Friday, October 19th, 2007
    4:25 pm
    Vox Dei
    Vox Dei
    Since I've started teaching, I've learned a lot better how to stay in a constant attitude of prayer. Sometimes that means praying in the Spirit when my mind is occupied with other things, sometimes it means talking straight to Big Daddy Himself when my mind is momentarily unoccupied. Sometimes, I even get to spend my planning period praying, which means I don't get as much planning done, but the prayer itself makes it worthwhile.

    I've re-learned how to come to God and do more than just my necessary amount of praying, but actually to come before God and beg Him for His presence. I've re-learned where I stand when I stand in Him and what it means to follow His lead. Granted, I've mastered none of these skills, but I'm getting there.

    But still, in the last two weeks, something's been lacking. I haven't made it to a regular church service since the Sunday before Fall Breakaway, with the exception of Chi Alpha on Tuesday nights and the aforementioned retreat. This means I've missed M'kaddesh on Wednesdays, Everdeeper/BCM/Redtree on Thursdays, missed the NOLAXA Gathering two Mondays ago, and regular church this past Sunday morning due to Drill. Last Tuesday night, I came home begging God to speak to me, and I waited through seven days of working there and still hadn't heard from God.

    Wednesday, I almost quit. I've never walked off a job in my life and, while this wouldn't be the shortest job I've ever held, it would be in the top three. I wasn't planning on giving up on the kids, just on giving up on myself. I figured I needed to get back in school and apply for the Alt Cert program/grad school at SLU. At the end of the day, I talked to Mrs. Robertson, the Dean of Students (aka disciplinarian) at the school. She all but begged me to stay, so I came back for one more day.

    Thursday after work, I called up Cody and we ate dinner together at Sonic. I knew I needed to be in the presence of God and of other believers worshiping Him, so when Cody invited me to LSUXA with him, I decided to go. I didn't know this would be Derrick & Ashley's last service, I just went. Upon arrival at the Design building, I knew I couldn't just stand there and meet & greet. I was there for God, not for the people I know and love.

    I knew the passage He wanted me to read, I just had to find it. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NIV):

    7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    Then during worship, Amanda & the band started playing, "Your Grace Is Enough." During that time, God wrapped Himself around me and told me, "My grace IS enough, and we're going to make it through this together!" Whoa. And of all times, on the seventh day of teaching. My beloved brother Josh came over to pray for me, and he told me God would start to answer some of the questions I had about myself that nobody else knew about me.

    So, without question, this is the hardest trial God has ever brought me through. Going back thru Basic Training would be easier. Nevertheless, I can already see many of the things He wants to do in me. This is going to make a new man out of me. Maybe after I come out of this one, it'll be time for my wife to come forth, as Bro. Charles prophesied.

    But this trial has also made me appreciate the works of other people. I understand how many of my teacher friends can have such a hard time with their kids. I'm sorry for any of you I've judged wrongfully. It's gonna be rough, but knowing I'm on God's side, we'll make it through.
    Saturday, October 13th, 2007
    9:52 pm
    Out of the frying pan, into the fire
    So yes, it was difficult finding out how tough subbing could be.  I wasn't getting paid enough.  Fair enough.  I found a full-time teaching job in St. Helena Parish that I started after 3 1/2 days of subbing.  4-day week, 7:30-4pm, $34,000 a year (with degree, no certification) plus benefits, a 30-minute commute through the country (aka no traffic!), $2.00 lunches every day.  What could be better?

    Yes it's tough.  I can see why they ran away two other teachers from this exact same job already this year.  Nevertheless, I can also see why God called me to this point and beyond.  It's tough, it's trying, it's stretching, but God wants to do stuff with it.  This is only the third job ever that's required me to be on my face in prayer.  The first was Camp Pioneer where God called me to break down a good-ol-boy system, and the second was AF basic training. 

    There were times my first day when I wished I was back in Zero Week of BMT with instructors shouting down my neck for walking wrong, just because it seemed that much easier than where I was.  I wanted to break after my first day (last Tuesday), but there was an afternoon class taking place in my room.  Then I had to go to Chi Alpha, too. I didn't have a word prepared, and I certainly didn't come up with one in the meantime.  I'll tell you what I did have, though: reason to praise.  I've prayed too many prayers there that weren't the right flavor of sincerity; this one came from a broken heart and a contrite spirit, "These, O Lord, You will not despise." 

    So then I came home and I prayed for the strength to make it through the next day; but my own strength and sanity weren't the only things on the line.  If nobody sticks around for these kids' sakes, they won't learn, and many of them won't pass their LEAP tests this year.  They need me to stick around and dedicate myself to teaching more than I need a job that goes easy on my psyche.  Furthermore, I need strength to do this that won't come from me.  I've needed to draw closer to God and rely more fully on Him for the longest time.  I've needed to hunger for the comfort that comes from His word and to focus my mind on prayer even when I'm trying to do anything else.  Basically, I need to grow, and here's my opportunity.

    And lastly, a little encouragement from songs the Lord has given me before:

    You've got me praising with all that I have
    You've got me forsaking all that I am
    You've got me worshipping down on my knees
    You've got me right where You want me to be
    ---
    Don't give up, this trial is only temporary
    Even when it's tough, this testing is necessary
    To prove your faith, so now you must endure
    The rod of chastening that you can stand sure


    So to all my fellow teachers and education majors out there, keep on truckin!
    Thursday, June 28th, 2007
    2:31 pm
    Story time!!!
    I've been thinking this one through for a couple of months now, it's an expansion on the life of Simon of Cyrene, who carried Jesus' cross. This took me about 4-5 hours and about as many worship CD's. This is only the first draft.

    Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
    12:21 am
    Hide it under a bushel, no, i'm gonna let it shine
    This morning on the way to work, I actually heard John Rivers on K-Love advertising a K-Love Cruise. For those who have never heard of K-Love, it's a chain of Christian radio stations all programmed and put on by one staff for the use of the rest of the country. This concept isn't new to Christian radio, but I can see how it makes it extremely cheap to get Christian radio in markets that couldn't dream of supporting a commercial Christian station. Now, I've had minor problems with K-Love off and on because they tend to lean a little bit on the cheesy side, even for me. I'll always be thankful for the existence of even the cheesiest stations, because I remember a time in my life where I would have lived in a cardboard box just to have K-Love on the radio.

    So back to the cruise. This isn't the first Christian cruise I've heard of, either. I don't like the idea for some simple reasons:

    1. Pricing: Rooms run from $700-$5000. If I had just the 700, I'd use it to pay off my credit cards. I could be almost debt-free with the 5 grand.

    2. Christian Cruise??: Let's not count how many missionaries (native or not) we can fully support with the amount that's going to be spent on this event. Also, what witness does that send to non-believers about how much we're willing to spend on a luxury when Jesus commands us to give all of our possessions to others. We Christians are such suckers for anything with a Christian label on it, no matter how good or bad of a product it is. I got a Christian fortune cookie the other day, and when I opened it up, it said, "You heathen, stop looking for answers in a fortune cookie!"

    3. People: Sure, I'd be around other Christians...other Christians who think it's a good idea to spend that much money on a temporary luxury. But I'd also be surrounded by ONLY Christians. Well, I'm sure the staff may or may not be Christian, but how open are they going to be to us?

    a) Christians are usually pretty horrible about being good customers
    b) The staff probably gets tired of getting preached at
    c) Once again, why are we spending money on a cruise when there are needy people -- even belonging to our own fold?

    Now, I can see some benefit to having a Christian cruise. Perhaps you want to buy it for your pastor because you believe he deserves a rest. But are all of the other people on the cruise going to be pastors whose congregations bought them a well-deserved rest?

    I've heard some of the lists of artists on these tours. Two come to mind: Casting Crowns (who tend to be like Jeremiah preaching to America with songs like "American Dream" and "If We Are the Body") and Todd Agnew ("Cause my Jesus/Wouldn't be accepted in my church/The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet"). Without passing judgment on these artists, a few thoughts come to mind about why THEY would be there:

    1) their record labels/managers book them for it, whether they want to go or not
    2) they want to be there, and don't see anything wrong with it
    3) they use the opportunity to preach against the type of people on that cruise (highly unlikely, considering they probably wouldn't be invited back, and we'd hear a big stink about it)

    But I still can't shake this question: why should I spend that much on a Christian cruise when there are missionaries and church plants scraping to get by? As i stated earlier, if you go on this cruise, you'll be there surrounded by other Christians who also think it's cool to blow that much money on a cruise.

    More importantly, you'll be cut off from the world. Isn't that the goal of American Christianity: to create a nice little safe hole where the world can't get to us and we can be or not be as Christian as we feel like? Isn't that what we failed to do with our country, so we try to do it with our churches - to make them as pristine and sterile as possible so that nobody who's "dirty" would want to come in?

    It was at this point I realized that you don't light up the world by concentrating all of your light in one place and waiting for everyone else to come in out of the darkness. You light up the world by bringing the Light of Christ out INTO the world. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12). Then He told us, "14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house" (Matthew 5:14-15).

    And a little light goes a long way. During WWII, Britain was under a mandatory blackout because the Nazis in France could see ships passing in front of their city lights from across the English Channel. Any light they lit inside the house was only usable as far as it reached within those walls. It was no good to those outside the house. As for us, if all we do is concentrate our light in our little Christian hidey holes, nobody will ever be able to use it. We have to get out and shine our lights, before God removes our lampstand from its place (Rev. 2:5).
    Friday, May 4th, 2007
    6:56 am
    quotes
    "[T]he Devil of Rebellion doth most commonly turn himself into an Angel of Reformation"

    -- John Milton, Eikon Basilike

    Aristotle's two types of revolution:
    1. changing the form of government, "for instance from democracy to oligarchy, or to democracy from oligarchy, or from these to constitutional government and aristocracy, or from those to these."
    2. where "the promoters desire the same form of government, for instance oligarchy or monarchy, but wish it to be in their own control."

    -- Aristotle Politics

    Speaking of Paradise Lost, "Satan can easily impersonate the stance, gestures, and language of radical revolutionaries, but he cannot genuinely conceive of casting the kingdom into another mold: his right-wing revolution or rebellion is not one which results in a decisive break -- at least in terms of its model of government -- with the past social order; self-enclosed, the royalist rebel in Satan cannot imagine genuine historical change."

    -- David Loewenstein, “‘An Ambiguous Monster’: Representing Rebellion in Milton’s Polemics and ‘Paradise Lost.’” The Huntington Library Quarterly, Vol. 55, No. 2. (1992), pp. 295-315
    Sunday, April 29th, 2007
    4:10 am
    New Song - Superman
    Superman )

    This song is a little bit biographical. As a kid, i always idolized my heroes to the point where I hoped they'd show up on my doorstep. Everyone from the aforementioned Superman to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Captain Picard. I guess I just felt so much rejection from so many sources that I wanted someone above me to reach down and tell me I was okay, that i was cool enough, that i was good enough. Thankfully, Christ came in and did that like He always wanted to, but it wasn't until someone showed me the love He has for me that I had a chance to receive it.

    I never jumped off the roof and broke my leg, like I mention in verse two, but I did dress the part. I remember when Daddy took me to see Raphael (the ninja turtle) around age 7 at the mall, I was so excited, even starstruck. I did my best to dress the part. I took a backpack and stuffed it full of anything I could find to resemble a turtle shell. I also wore a red bandanna (although not over my eyes). Why did I do all this? In hopes that Raphael would recognize me. It sucked that I only got to see him for long enough to get my picture taken. I still have that picture somewhere.

    And the actual use of the title Superman, that's kind of a multifaceted joke. For several years (until Cingular reset it), when my voice mail told me to say my name, I said "Superman." It was great -- every time i called my voice mail, it would say, "Hello, 'Superman.'" I never knew anybody else could hear it, but apparently other Cingular users around my area, when they got my voice mail, Cingular told them it was from 'Superman.' After four years, Janna was the first person to point it out. Also, my latest set of checks has the Superman design on them and Chris & Christine keep arguing about why Superman is or is not (respectively) the best superhero of them all.

    So, ultimately, all this turned into the song you see here today!
    Thursday, April 26th, 2007
    3:55 pm
    Sadness
    I got a call during work today that my last grandparent has passed.  Grandma was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, died last night.  You may remember that my other grandmother died back in February.

    The weird thing is, they lived almost exactly the same length of time.  They were born the same year about two months apart (actually, they were exactly the same distance in age as my parents) and now they passed the same year.  This'll be tough, especially since i"m at critical mass on my absences, and now i'm definitely about to re-use the grandmother's funeral to the exact same teachers who heard it last time.  Oh well, God will provide for me.

    The funeral will be next weekend.  Anybody wanna roadtrip to Georgia with me? 
    Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
    2:37 pm
    Dear the rest of the world
    Dear the rest of the world,

    I petition thee again, please stop trying to set me up with a girlfriend.

    You sayest I would look good with some specific girl. I could actually use the affirmation that I look alright by myself.

    But you're not interested in that, now are you?

    Either way, I'm on a quest to stay single until God directs me the right way. Yes, I may seem too idealistic, but that's how God made me. And yes, because He wants me to be single, that's the way I'm going to be. Takes the stress off of me, and gives me the freedom to be idealistic.

    So, in closing, stand with me or get out of my way.

    Sincerely,
    Zechariah.


    Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
    4:39 pm
    The mission field next door
    22 April 2007
    Hammond Dreamland Skatepark
    Hammond, LA



    I remember the first time I passed by here. I was truly amazed that a small town like Hammond had not only built a skate park, but that it was actively used by kids who didn't fit in the skater punk category. It's not purely a white phenomenon either, some black kids in their baggy XL shirts use it, too.

    I envy these kids... )
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